Over the last year and a half I have been cultivating a morning routine that supports my recovery, my spiritual growth, and sets me up for the day. Many of the suggestions were given to me through various AA & PIR members as well as what I’ve picked up from books, teachers, Ram Dass, and many others. It’s simple, effective and I want to break down each here and encourage giving this a try.
My Original Morning Routine
- 5:30am – 5:40am: Wake up and scan through work emails to see what fires I’m walking into
- 5:40am – 5:50am: Instagram, facebook, TikTok feed mindless scrolling
- 5:50am – 6:10am: Second cup of coffee and the news on tv
- 6:10am – 6:30am: Rush to put clothes on and speed to the gym for 6:30 class
- 6:30am – 7:30am: Workout / Exercise
- 7:30am – 8:30am: Shower, change, head to the office
Not terrible, I would say that typically I have always been an early riser whether I feel good or not, whether I’m hung over or not. I have always prioritized exercise but it was a discipline I learned at a very early age and never retreated from. That has always been, even through my addictions, a center that I could look at and know I was ok (even when many times I definitely wasn’t).
The biggest mistake I would later find affecting my mood, emotions, anxiety, and depression was what I was feeding my mind in the morning. I was starting my day looking for anxiety, looking for what scary thing I might encounter, what was posted by someone else that made me envious, jealous, or hateful towards another. Sure, I got up early, went to the gym but I had already set myself up for failure and the scariest part is how unconscious I was to it all.
My anxiety was clinical and it was a prison I trapped myself in for the majority of my life. I didn’t think I could change it and while what I describe below is not the total solution it has had the most profound effect on how I enter my day and is a main contributor to the reduction, and in many cases, the complete removal of anxiety and replaced with contentment and peace. I encourage anyone who’s interested to give this a try for the next 90 days. No skip days unless otherwise not possible. See how you feel and throughout you will develop a habit that becomes an integral part of your being.
My New Morning Routine
Before I begin, for anyone who has spouses, kids, roommates, etc. I understand life gets lifey when you add more people to the mix of daily living but I promise you we all will find the time to do what we like and if you are struggling with how to fit this in your day I suggest you look at your phone’s screentime and app usage. I can almost guarantee the one hour a day spent on personal growth can be cobbled together from areas of your life you’re not providing or taking care of a family. It’s a matter of what you find important and what you don’t. These can be practiced or used at any time of day. The morning is preferred but don’t let your inability to do this first thing prevent you from trying.
I will be honest, if I can do this every day of the week I’m ecstatic but realistically I shoot for 5 days a week as I know I can hit that and it allows for some grace with my schedule and unplanned events that show up for all of us.
In order of priority:
- Prayer / Devotion (5 min)
- Meditation (20 min)
- Daily Journaling (10 min)
- Grateful Journaling (5 min)
- Reading (10 min)
- Exercise (1 hour)
Prayer / Devotion:
I don’t care if you are religious or not, whether you believe in a god or not. Prayer and devotion are practices that will create connection with others and breakdown the illusion of separateness we all believe we are. This is a tool to help with resentments, anger, or disconnectedness with others at work, at home, or in your social circles.
Prior to entering AA I had no religious or spiritual connection nor did I want it. I never grasped church and didn’t feel anyone was ever able to really explain it to me so that it made sense. It all felt like stories that people believed as fact. Things that actually happened. I struggled with how you could believe that as fact when there was no proof.
Regardless whether you have a belief in a higher power or not, praying for the best for others changes you in the process. It has an impact on how you see people, how you see yourself. A common tool I use when I either have a strong resentment towards someone or I am dealing with a difficult situation with another; I will pray for them for 30 days. Pray that their families are safe, that they find joy, that they succeed in what they’re striving for.
This simple act of prayer consistently over a 30 day time period changes how I see the person and as a result the observer that I am changes too. The anger, resentment, fear, all seem to wash away and now I see this person not as my adversary but a connected being within this world that I am also a part of. It helps me do business with those I would otherwise vehemently avoid.
Meditation:
I could write a book about having a meditation practice but in my own practice I am still very much in the oven, baking. Meditation is highly personal. It’s not a practice with a set of rules you follow although there is a plethora of tools and exercises you can lean on to get you going.
Meditation also comes in a number of different forms (yoga, sitting, walking, hiking, your entire life can be a meditation if you choose so). For this exercise I’m speaking specifically of sitting in stillness for a set amount of time focusing on clearing the noise and becoming in tune with your thoughts, how they arise, how they disappear, and the relatively lack of control you have over them. It’s learning to identify with my stillness and quiet and pay less attention to the mind trying to pull me this direction or that.
I highly recommend a book written by Ram Dass entitled, “Journey of Awakening”. It is a little heavier on the spiritual side but he does a fantastic job of cutting through the noise and boiling meditation down to concepts even the novice can grasp.
This 20 minutes of sitting (before coffee, before checking emails, before checking instagram, etc) is the most important 20 minutes of my day. I’m centered, collected, and unhindered by the anxiety around future events.
Take this time when you can and be selfish. This is for you. Forget about the future, forget about the past, be present and still and over time you will begin to uncover the layers beneath.
Daily Journaling:
I choose to journal fresh in the morning. Others may prefer to use it as a review for the day in the evening. Whatever time works for you. These are not hard and fast rules. Keeping a daily journal helps clear the mind and work thoughts out in the present and serves as a log of your progress over time. You can read and find markers of success in your journey which when progress is slow and improvements are incremental, it’s helpful to look back and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Reading historically how I thought and what was on my mind really illustrates the progress I make. There are great insights that pour onto the page when I write as a stream of consciousness.
There are a ton of different methods when it comes to journaling. There is no wrong way to do it. Just do it with no expectations. Much the same as the other practices. Do it for the sake of doing it, no goal, no end.
Brene Brown has a host of resources on different journaling practices. I highly recommend checking her stuff out and adopting it if it makes sense. Here is a quick journal framework to get you going, keep you present, and create awareness around how you’re feeling. Complete the five sentences below in your journal:
- The story I’m telling myself is…
- My emotions are…
- My body is doing…
- My thinking is…
- My beliefs right now are…
Your body, emotions, and language are what make up your nature of being. Otherwise known as the B.E.L. Model. You can read more about that on Newfield’s website of Ontological learning. Journaling using the five sentence starters from Brene Brown can help you become accustom to identifying and relating the interplay of the B.E.L. model and make sense of where you are at. It’s method has helped me tremendously by separating my inner self from what’s happening to me or through me. It allows me to look at body, emotions, and language objectively instead of immediately associating it with good or bad. It just is. That simple awareness, nothing more, starts to change how I perceive things. Simply acknowledging the emotion and understanding the root helps make sense and open up possibilities.
Gratitude Journaling:
I have a separate notebook I use just for writing things I’m grateful for. You can choose to do it in the same journal or have a separate one. I chose separate because I not only use it as a daily tool but also to reflect and acknowledge things in my life I really am grateful for.
This is not toxic positivity. It is looking at your life, not denying that there’s positive and negatives from your perspective, but acknowledging that which we all typically take for grant it can have positive impacts not just on your thinking but your physical health and spiritual growth.
Skillandcare.com wrote a short article on 7 primary benefits from gratitude journaling that is worth a quick read. I have been doing this for a year and a half and it’s served me in the following ways:
- I begin my day looking at the positive aspects of my life. The things I would typically take for grant it but in practice of acknowledging their positive influence in my life turns my mindset from focusing on the negative to realizing I’m extremely fortunate.
- Squashing resentments that grow over time of people I live, work, and play with.
- Taking pause to be in the moment and not future trip on what could go wrong
- A log of the aspects of my life to be grateful for and quickly reading through historically reminds me that I am truly blessed to be living, breathing, and existing in this world.
The format I use is simple. I pick three items of my life I’m grateful for each day. I start each with “I am grateful for…”. The best part is they can be anything I look at critically and recognize that this is something in my life to be thankful for. Here are a few examples:
- I’m grateful for my breath bringing life into my being
- I’m grateful for my partner who treats me well and I rely on
- I’m grateful for my job. While I complain about it, it is a blessing to have a job that allows me to support myself and my family
- I’m grateful for my health. Without it my mind suffers.
You can also use this gratitude journal to be grateful for things that are negative:
- I’m grateful I was laid off, without that I wouldn’t have grown into a new role.
- I’m grateful I got so upset yesterday in traffic. I can see an area of learning I need to grow into.
- I’m grateful for the storm that took a part my garden. I’m being taught patience.
Again, be careful with these. We don’t want to be blindly optimistic but when you can look at negatives as growth opportunities and truly digest that, the high’s and low’s become less apparent. You’re inching your way towards that middle path of inner peace.
Reading:
I choose to read in the morning and lump it together with my other spiritual practices. My mission is on self-improvement and growth so my selection of books over the last year and a half have been primarily focused on self discovery and practices that help me replace the models I’ve created over the first 40 years of my life.
I take just 10 minutes a day or 10 pages. At that pace I can get through 10 – 20 books a year and it’s not a huge inconvenience of time. I’ve never been a strong reader and so this morning practice has helped me flex that muscle more and as I do I find I look for opportunities to read instead of turn the TV on. This has been completely organic and was not my intention.
If you’re looking for inspiration here are the books I’ve read over the last year:
- Quiet by Susan Cain
- Mastery by George Leonard
- The Dhammapada by Eknath Easwaran
- The Bhagavad Gita by Eknath Easwaran
- The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide by James Fadiman
- How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan
- A New Pair of Glasses by Charles Chamberlain
- AA Big Book by Bill W
- Passage Meditation by Eknath Easwaran
- Owning Your Own Shadow by Robert A. Johnson
- 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer
- I Am Peace by Susan Verde
- Journey of Awakening by Ram Dass
- Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence by Chalmers Brothers
- No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
Exercise:
Sports and exercise have been a part of my entire life. It is not a muscle I need to work on flexing. It’s a part of my being. An hour a day can be daunting for anyone who isn’t used to pushing their bodies but this is a goal to aspire towards. You can get the same benefits early on with a short walk, yoga or stretching, or some light weight training.
Of all of my morning practices, this does the most to instantaneously boost my mood, clear toxins from my body, and break up whatever thought patterns I have going on in my head.
Specifically for me, I CrossFit. It’s my social hangout as well as an intense, dynamic, and varied exercise program for my body. It never gets boring and everyday is something different. It’s all over, you don’t have to take my word for it, the benefits of daily exercise cannot be denied. In addition to building self esteem, strength, and freedom to move about in the world, it also improves my immune system keeping me from getting sick.
Here is what I recommend if you are just starting out. It’s not scientific, it’s not profound.
JUST START.
Commit yourself to a 90 in 90 to grow the habit. 90 exercise sessions in 90 days. Cement the habit and feel better in the process. Don’t look at the scale, don’t worry about any changes to your body. Just commit to the practice.
Start small. Walk for 20 minutes every morning. Just do it. When you’re ready, maybe move towards a jog the last 10 minutes. Over a 3 month period you will notice improvements to your cardiovascular health and the your mood will improve. Use these markers to motivate further development of the practice.
You don’t need equipment, you don’t need a trainer, just use your body. Like any other practice the more you make it a part of your life, the more the practice will point you where to head. You may find yourself seeking help after the initial period and that’s OK. Just don’t make it this monumental thing. Just get out and start moving.
Closing:
I am far from perfect. I do not get all of these every morning done. Some days I only have 5 minutes to meditate and I give myself the grace that it’s ok. My formula for success is not looking at goals or objectives. I just do the practice and the benefits and insights show themselves over time.
Learn to love the plateaus. When I remove the end goal and turn my focus on loving the practice I get so much more out of it. Drop the expectations on the outcome and the outcome will create itself.
As they say over and over again in AA…One day at a time. Just do it one day at a time.
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