As human beings we focus so hard on the negative. We beat ourselves up, internalize, and walk around shameful of our defects. We rarely take time to celebrate small victories. Many of them go unnoticed by our own awareness. Just as living in a space of gratitude can drastically change your perspective so can celebrating small wins have a dramatic impact on our self worth and self confidence.
Celebrate vs Bragging
Very subtle difference between the two and this is just my interpretation. If you’re telling more than three people about your win you’re most likely looking for validation. If you’re telling others and sharing in an effort to one up someone else, you’re not celebrating.
Celebrating is just between you and you. It’s an awareness that you accomplished something. It really doesn’t matter what it is. Celebrate that you made your bed and started the day with an accomplishment. It can really be that small.
The other reason, in my own life I’m focusing on not sharing publicly my wins is when I do that I’m tainting the action. I’m making it about what someone else thinks. I’m possibly opening myself up to someone else’s interpretation of the win. Stay quiet, stay humble, but acknowledge these small wins.
My Car Broke Down
I’m about to break my own rule and share a win I celebrated just yesterday. I’m doing this for two reasons. One, so that I can bring real life example to anyone who maybe stumble on this post by dumb luck and can relate or take something from it in their own lives. Two, this blog is first and foremost for me. I really don’t care if not one of these posts are ever read. It’s for me first as an outlet, as a tool for understanding my own thoughts, and a way to slow down and really cement in how I’m feeling so I can read and reflect down the road. If it helps someone else out than it’s a bonus in my book.
Yesterday I started my Saturday like every other. Wake up, make coffee, read, meditate, and hit the 9am AA meeting out in the park. Afterwards I stopped to pick up “a few things” from Costco (when the fuck has that ever been the case). I got in my car to leave, pulled out of the space and then in the middle of a hellish Saturday morning Costco parking lot, my car dies. Turn it on, move three feet, dies. This happened several times until I knew for sure I wasn’t leaving that lot.
My First Thought
Immediately, my mind went to worst case scenario. Besides not knowing what my first move should be I immediately saw the ruining of the holiday season. Something serious is wrong with my car, my girlfriend is driving her grandma’s honda that looks beat to shit, we’re a single car family with the worst possible vehicle to support us both. I thought immediately about all of the things I now was prevented from doing because I am not mobile.
I caught that wave of fear. Right in the midst. Took a deep breath and told myself we need to figure out step one. Step one was getting the hell out of the middle of the parking lot where I was already pissing off other shoppers. I got the car into a spot and paused….”I have AAA”, I thought. Ok, lets call them. As I waited for the tow truck I started to think about what my next steps were. Get it home, at least if it’s home I can start to diagnose the issue. I didn’t have a mechanic close by and AAA takes you only 7 miles for free.
When the tow truck got there I remembered I had an autozone just a mile from my house and so the driver was kind enough to take me there first so I could run diagnostics and figure out what the issue was. To my surprise it was a small sensor that needed to be replaced.
I am not a car guy and know nothing about fixing it but figured, buy the part and get the car home, then we have options. Long story short, after a few youtube videos and a bike ride back to autozone and back for additional tools I had somehow managed to take my car apart, replace the VVT Solenoid (whatever that is) and my car was fully functioning again.
The Win I Celebrated
I could have celebrated so much. The fact I was able to facilitate the car back to my house, the patience I had going to and from autozone in order to fix, or the actual fix itself. None of that was the case. I chose to celebrate that in the moment of the unknown. In the moment where the car first died and my mind went to the worst place, I had the awareness of myself to pause and not spiral down.
This is SO IMPORTANT, for me specifically. This is so outside of my character and while for anyone reading it may seem like I just dealt with an unfortunate incident on a Saturday morning but it was so much more symbolic for me. It was me catching a moment where I would have fallen apart in the past (god forbid I was hung over when this happened, would have been really bad) and chose to NOT go that direction. Even though everything inside me wanted to play the victim, even pull in other things that aren’t even associated with the incident and pile it on top. But I didn’t. I kept calm and pushed through.
This is a small win, very small, but so significant. I celebrate this because it’s something to hold onto. It’s something to build on. It’s something to make more of a part of me.
You see, small wins we celebrate are like building blocks of good. They are moments in time we recognize and are truly aware of. They build on top of each other. They deepen those pathways in your brain. Like gratitude, they help reshape an alcoholic’s brain into new perspectives.
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