Entheogens & Recovery From My Addiction

You will hear me use the terms Psychedelics and Entheogens interchangeably. Most will relate closer to Psychedelics as that term was coined by Dr. Humphrey Osmond in the 50’s and let’s be honest, it really defined the 60’s. In an effort to distance the movement from the recreational use of psychedelics a new term arose in the late 70’s by Carl A. P. Ruck, a mythology scholar, called Entheogens derived from the greek en (within) theo (divine) and gen (creates). Put more simply, divine medicine. A much more fitting term for the maturity with which these plant medicines are being studied and used to treat a multitude of mental and physical health disorders/trauma.

While it may be confusing to most how the use of Entheogens can help with addiction recovery but that’s more about your perception of these plants and how they’ve been portrayed in the news and media. Is it weird to you that an alcoholic that falls and breaks their leg would receive and take medicine for the pain? No one would bat an eye at the doctor prescribing a appropriate medication to treat the symptoms of an injury, right?

Now imagine that those pain killers actually helped the patient with the root of the problem. The issue wasn’t the fall and resulting injury they obtained but the cause of the break was actually the long term abuse of alcohol.

Understanding Addiction

Up until just a year ago I truly believed that people were predetermined to addiction and that in many cases it was genetic. While that’s partially true, there are many other contributing factors and life experience that drive people to addiction.

A big part of dealing with my own addictions were centered around the “why” behind my drinking. In what situations was I using it to cope or self medicate from the thoughts and feelings in my mind I either didn’t want to deal with or simply wanted to go away.

In my own recovery program I thought I became a chip carrying member of AA to address the triggers and situations where I was compelled to drink and rearrange my life to avoid putting myself in those positions. As the obsession to drink wore off and I was becoming resistant to the need to drink to solve my problems I quickly realized that what drove me to the addiction in the first place was my way of thinking, my perception of reality. Quitting drinking alone did not solve this and shockingly all the same insecurities, problems, inhibitions, anxiety, depression, etc were all still there. Members call this being a “dry drunk” in the program. White knuckling sobriety without addressing any of the underlying causes and/or working with a fellowship of like minded people to support.

So came the great AA switcheroo as they call it. You think you’re there to stop drinking, you’re really there to be a better human and cut through all the bullshit you project on the world and within yourself. It’s about learning to be brutally honest with yourself and another human being the nature of your wrongs. It’s about taking personal responsibility of the predicament you’ve made for yourself and to stop blaming others as the victim. It’s powerful stuff for the ones that take it seriously.

It’s pretty difficult to change 40 years of thinking in the blink of an eye and anyone that tells you differently is a liar. This is why I am cautiously optimistic about how the use of Entheogens as a means of recovery are being handled (in most cases) with the utmost care and consideration. These plant medicines are certainly revelatory but handled incorrectly or without the purposeful intention setting and requisite integration and therapy can turn out to be horrific experiences or just a fun afternoon of looking at things bend on you.

What Entheogens Have Done For me?

So, full transparency, at the time of writing this post I had only used psilocybin in my initial guided sessions and it was only a small handful of times (4 to be exact). I did not have a human guide but used an app and my integration sessions were between me, my recordings, and my notes I had taken during and after the sessions. I don’t recommend this and will not advertise anyone do the same as me but I was desperate and took a risk. Part of the reason for this whole website is that I wish I had better avenues to proceed down this path with less risks and more insightful outcomes.

At the point I took these I had withdrawn from my alcohol dependence and had righted the ship temporarily while going full steam ahead with my new found spiritual practices and attending a daily meeting of alcoholics anonymous – no if’s, and’s or but’s about it.

I don’t need to give the full play by play here but what they did was allow me, for the first time in my life, to look at my part in a number of interactions that plagued my conscious thoughts and fed my anxiety and depression with a kinder gaze. It allowed me not just to dissolve my ego but look at it with a kindness and objective observance of how it contributed to the many aspects of life that brought me down and made me feel less then.

I could see someone else’s side. I always claimed to be able to see the other side but to truly see that my issues with my mom, dad, friends, work, position in life, you name it all was a result of how I reacted to my experiences. It was my conscious and unconscious attachments that drove much of who I was. The rules and models I had created that formed my opinion and reaction to the world were what really needed to be addressed.

There is something truly unnerving to look at the world this way. You start to question everything, like the vail of existence you thought was just the way wasn’t it at all. That there is so much more in this world than what you’re ego has framed the world to be.

This was like a launchpad for me, rediscovering who I really am and what really matters. It is the first time since I was a kid that I am ACTUALLY passionate about something. I never get tired of learning more and I feel my life now has a divine purpose. I am writing this now completely convinced I am meant to do more in this world than to work a job and die. I’m meant to help others recover and find the ever expanding freedom that comes with knowing who you really are and identifying with what matters and not what’s being consumed by my 5 sense organs. It’s lead me down the road of consciousness and divinity. I believe in a god of my understanding now and it lifts me up everyday.

I’m learning to find the beauty in suffering and treating bad days or poor interactions as teachings instead of a ugliness that must be avoided at all costs. I’ve surrounded myself with others that are open to the possibilities that life is about more than material goods, power, and wealth and seeing every moment of life as beautiful.

I owe a debt of gratitude to the community of AA, my personal life coach, the researchers and pioneers of the psychedelic movement and I feel truly fortunate to have found this new path in life I will continue down until it’s my turn to trade in this old pair of shoes we call our material being.

Awaken
Mystical Maya

"One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams.“ ~ Salvador Dali

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