Getting Into the Christmas Spirit
This time of year had me thinking about how different it is than any time of year. People are generally more considerate to each other, we donate more, we do things for strangers we may not do the other 11 months out of the year. Why is that? What about this time of year is different than any other?
It All Comes Down to Set & Settings
We live the last few weeks of December in gratitude. Society encourages us to think about others, be grateful for what we have, and share with others who are less fortunate. We surround ourselves with holiday music, decorations, lights, good food, family, and friends. We prepare for the big day with intention and purpose. It’s fun, exciting, and feeds a part of us we keep lean and mean the rest of the year.
So what are we actually doing? We’re getting into a mindset and cultivating a setting to support that mindset. We intentionally get ourselves to a place of gratitude. We do this in all aspects both good and bad. A mindset helps set the intention and as a result we generally are in better spirits and more considerate of others.
The holidays are an extreme example. The world around us literally transforms. It’s not just us. The neighbors put their lights up, others treat you well, and the world seems to put differences aside and live from a place of gratitude even if just for a few short weeks. It’s just easier to follow suit and since it’s constantly in your face it’s hard to avoid.
Imagine, if you could stay spiritually connected and hold on to this all year long. Wouldn’t that be amazing to feel inside you deep a consistent feeling of love, gratitude, and joy? You can but with a lot of work and understanding that life does have major debbie downers for all of us.
We All Crash
Life is hard and none of us make it out alive. Beyond the one truth that gets us all at the end there are unimaginable suffering in the world. We suffer in all different ways and through different experiences. One might say it’s impossible to live in a constant state of gratitude. It’s impossible right? It’s ok to have human emotions and to connect with suffering on a deep and personal level. It’s human, and partially how we begin to heal.
A recurring thought of mine has been that while this first year of sobriety has rocketed me to new levels of understanding consciousness, spirituality, myself and others I’ve also developed a set of tools that help me navigate those smaller off days or didn’t get enough sleep so I’m cranky days or 15 little things that happened didn’t go my way and the guy that just cut me off and ends up catching the brunt of my mounting frustrations.
I’ve realized I’m building my armor. My perspective, gaining lessons from bad events instead of hating them, meditating, rest, physical activity, reading, journaling, quiet, etc. All of these things I look at as armor for when something unforeseen comes. We all have these in life and when they happen to me, I lose my shit. I can spiral down into a dark hole of self pity, I can say the world is unequivocally cruel to me, I can blame and point at a million things that caused me to be the victim which I know will only lead back to alcohol abuse and the start of yet another deeper and deeper spiral.
A tool I’ve been practicing is how I react to small or annoying things. Instead of reacting, just look at it, sit with it, feel the emotion but refrain from tying it to the daisy chain of thoughts that ultimately leads back to me being a shit head. Acknowledge the little thing and let it go. Do not hold and compound it with others. Don’t stuff it away, it knows how to get back out.
Here’s an example from my past: My uncle passed away a few years ago, I was there in the room when he died, it was one of the more spiritual moments in my life and to be present to see my Uncle pass from this life onto what’s next. It gave me a weird sense of peace and calm. As soon as I got home, I began to beat myself up over it. I reviewed all the times my uncle had invited me up to visit him in Irvine but I was more concerned with picking up girls at a bar where I would sit by myself for hours. I beat myself up that there were so many opportunities to be with him and I took them for grant it. Even a close relative dying can send me back into a cycle of self deprivation and negative self talk. All that said, quickly turning that perspective to, “I was there in the moment every human being needs someone most, on their deathbed”. Immediately my perspective shifted from harping on the past to being grateful I could be there. I could hold his hand. I could tell him not to be afraid. And I could love him.
You can’t control the set and settings of an unpredictable suffering event that brings you to your knees. Go to your knees, feel the wash of pain and hurt, be with it, but also believe this isn’t taking you out. Look back on the work you’ve done on yourself, breakout that toolbox, call those who support you 100% and take the first step beyond self pity and fear.
What you’ll find is that you actually become grateful for the experience, grateful for the lesson, grateful that you were there for that.
Set and Settings with Psychedelics
Removing the subject from you is probably the most interesting aspects of psychedelics for me. The ability of these plant medicines to shut down your ego and allow you to view situations, thoughts, people, and nature objectively with no preconceived notions is a truly magical experience. It’s a different perspective allowing you to learn and grow without fear your ego is going to persecute you for who you are inside.
Set and Settings (famously coined by Timothy Leary) is so important when using psychedelics. In fact, the more you prepare the better the experience and the better the outcomes (much like Santa Season). There are many books on the topic but my personal favorite is James Fadiman’s book, “The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide“. Fadiman pushes the critical importance of preparing beforehand and ensuring your intention is right.
The setting itself can be whatever feels right to you, however, it’s generally preferred in a place where very little unintended interruptions will occur. You want the environment controlled as best as possible and notify those close to you to not disturb during the ceremony. Decorate or set the room up for comfort, peace, and tranquility. Maybe plan a small trip out in nature towards the end.
Even when conditions are perfect and you have done everything to prepare you may experience things you did not intend. This is the perfect time to practice letting go and surrendering to the experience. The simple act of letting go allows you to stop fighting against something you cannot defeat AND through surrender you learn the true lesson and can move on.
Life Is Like A Trip
To come full circle, do this in life. When a loved one unexpectedly passes away, you get a cancer diagnosis, a child dies…surrender to it. Feel the pain and allow yourself to feel it. You are going to be ok and your preparation for such a day is already in you. You may slip into a deep dark depression, you may want to leave this earth, you may see no other way out. There is though, sink deep into your feelings knowing when the time is right you are taking that first step back towards gratitude and love. It’s where you are supposed to be and it is honoring the dark of the past by moving slowly from it into the light.
Final Thoughts
This post is really about preparation and practice. Every year as dad pulls down the lights and we stand up a tree we are preparing for a ceremony, we’re excited for it and can’t wait for the day to get here but at the same time we are enjoying and grateful for the entire process. Loving the process gives exponentially more joy than suffering until an end goal is met. If your happiness and joy are dependent on the outcome you will suffer far more than you ever need to. Enjoy the process.
Comments are closed.